February 2023: Learning to ask for help 💛

Hi Friend,

I hope this Friday is greeting you with gentleness. Inhale love… … …Exhale ease

Over the last two weeks, I’ve had unexpected challenges and losses in my personal life that I needed to turn my time and energy to. In reflecting on the last couple of weeks, one thing that comes to mind is how these experiences were a lesson in asking for help.

It’s easy for me to say to others, “we all need to help and it’s ok to ask for help.” It’s easy for me to offer help and support to others.

But me? No, not me. The idea of asking others for help sends guilt-alarm-bells going off through my head.

But given my circumstances over the last two weeks, it was either ask for help or let many of my obligations fall to the way side. So I breathed deep, and asked for help. 

Well, actually, it was more like my colleagues and friends lovingly offered help, and instead of saying “no, no, it’s ok, I got it” like I usually do, I breathed deep, and said, “yes, ok, I can really use the help, thank you.”

To my colleagues and friends who were there for me, thank you. 

I think for many of us who so naturally offer help to others first, we struggle to accept and ask for help ourselves. We may believe we have to do it alone, or that we’re not deserving or worthy of support. We may just be used to taking on more for others and have resigned ourselves to doing it all ourselves. Or we don’t want to be a burden to anyone.

That – “I don’t want to be a burden.” That’s a narrative that I’ve held since my childhood. 

But it’s time to let it go, no?

Some journal prompts that can help us clarify our needs and open us up to receiving support are:

I could use some more… I could use less… 
I’m having a hard time with… 
What are my needs?

These prompts are in our Healing Journal and Custom Wellness Journal.

When we ask for help, or when we accept help, we’re not a burden. We’re a human being in need. And we all are allowed to be human beings in need.

With love,
Alina Lia

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