September 2020: A Note from Hope — It is with an open heart that I share with you today the website for our newest book from Inkandescent™ Publishing, “Why Divorce: 5 Reasons to Leave” — www.WhyDivorce.us.
Talk about overcoming fear: As we launch the September 2020 of Inkandescent Health & Wellness magazine, featuring Navy SEAL Don Mann and his book “Facing Your Fears,” I am reminded how hard it is to be brutally honest about the intimate details of your life — much less your love life — in public. While a handful of my dearest friends have held my hand throughout the years of my divorce process, and a larger group knew of my experience divorcing my best friend, like most people I didn’t feel compelled to share any messy stuff with the world at large. That’s likely why it took me so long to birth this book.
My love story: As you’ll read on the website, I began writing in my mind in November 2005. It took until November 2014 to take the step toward my own divorce, and another six years before the papers were signed. In that last phase, I finally had the courage to let the pages of the book roll out of my head and onto my laptop. Amazingly, my ex-husband has designed and illustrated the website as this is how we love each other now: As dearest friends, hopefully, until death do us part.
My purpose and mission: The purpose of the book project is to explore and share with our readers YOUR love story. Organized as case studies of the 5 reasons: abuse, addiction, adultery, abandonment, angst — I have so far interviewed nearly a dozen people who have had the courage to share their experiences with love, loss and the courage to let go. Believe me, I know it’s not easy to make yourself vulnerable. But because my mission is to help others feel they aren’t alone in this traumatic life-changing process, I gathered the courage to go public in the most graceful way I could muster. I hope you can, too!
Are you ready to share your love story? If so, I want to interview you! My goal is to feature at least 40 women and men in the book, for in qualitative research this sample size gives power to the finds (called the Central Limit Theorem, I thank my statistics professors in the positive psychology program at Claremont Graduate University for educating me about what this means!). Translation: Interviewing dozens of people gives me the opportunity to give voice to more people willing to explain what led them to divorce, or what stopped them from pulling that trigger. Your story will most likely help at least one someone in a similar quandary know that they are not alone. If you are game to share your story of divorce, follow this link to take the first step in the interview — the questionnaire: https://whydivorce.us/whats-your-story/
Calling Divorce Experts: Being that my only expertise in this area is that I’ve gone through this process myself, I have interviewed pros in a variety of industries that support the divorce process — divorce attorneys, therapists, child psychologists and psychiatrists, financial planners, Realtors, and more. If you are an expert, or know someone who should be featured, let me know! I’m currently looking to speak with more attorneys, as well as sex therapists, mediator, and more attorneys and therapeutic guides who can advise and coach our readers through the divorce process. Meet the folks I’ve talked with so far: https://whydivorce.us/category/expert-advice/
Parting Thoughts: Last but not least, the end of the book project features additional stories, poems, and thoughts that folks have been willing to share about their experience with the divorce process. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been brought to their knees through this experience, and often that inspires creativity. I call this section, “The Divorce Diaries,” and invite you to share anything you’d like for consideration to be included in this section.
In advance, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening yours to receive this idea, and for sharing your thoughts and experience with the people who need the courage and support to do what they know they need to do, even when they are afraid. With love, Hope