February 2022: Last month, we had our community journaling mini-retreat on accessing our inner wisdom. In one of the journaling exercises, we journaled to prompts for remembering, “Who am I?” The prompt I chose for this exercise was, “I deserve to feel proud of myself for…”
I went into this prompt apprehensive, feeling like I couldn’t really say much about it. But I have a hard time receiving compliments, so I figured this prompt would be good for me.
First, I listed a few small wins that I had had recently. I felt “meh” writing those out. I had answered the question but didn’t feel proud. I felt kind of crummy, like, “well, I guess that’s it…”
My mind then wandered to my bigger life goals — with Zenit, with my art, with my personal life. I sighed and wrote about how I’m NOT where I want to be. I realized I had been feeling not enough in those areas for years now, to the point where I had gotten used to feeling not enough. This was my first time naming that. Damn.
But with this prompt guiding me, I looked back and acknowledged, “you know, even though I’m not where I want to be yet, I still deserve to feel proud of where I’ve come in these areas.” And then, I felt the shift.
It’s a journey to move from feeling not enough to enough. It’s not a light switch. With this journaling, I took a step forward in that process. I was gently pushing aside that thought that says, “I’m not enough until I reach the finish line.” I was making space for myself to feel enough and proud even while aspiring for more.
That made me wonder, “Hm, where else do I feel not enough? For those areas, can I still find a way to feel proud of myself?”
You deserve to feel proud of yourself. Even in those areas where you feel like you’re not enough or where you haven’t reached where you want to go yet, you still deserve to feel proud of you all your effort you’ve put in, the progress you’ve made, the ways you’ve gown, and how you continue in your journey.
Give it a try, “I deserve to feel proud of myself for…”
Alina is founder of Zenit, a radical wellness company. We make custom wellness journals and provide journaling retreats that empower people to gain the mental wellness benefits of journaling. Learn more at zenitjournals.com