• March 2011

Women in Power

Since March is Women’s History Month, each year we dedicate our March issue to the incredible work being done by female entrepreneurs.

As Dr. Helen Fisher explained in our February issue: “When women began returning to the workforce, the balance of power between the sexes shifted. And as more women graduate from college—not to mention earn as many PhDs as men—their economic and political power will only continue to grow.”

As you scroll down, you’ll see that all of our columnists this month are women, from our Entrepreneur of the Month Lee Woodruff, to our featured Leadership columnist, Joanna Barsh, the author of How Remarkable Women Lead, and our Truly Amazing Woman of the month, Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

You’ll also find a wealth of wisdom from our columnists: Immigration attorney Linda Rahal helps businesses prepare for the Obama Administration’s crackdown on illegal foreign employees; management training expert Alice Waagen teaches us to collaborate better; and HR expert Barbara Mitchell discusses the future of women in the workplace.

Striving for work-life balance? Check out 10 tips to de-stress from our Healthy Living columnist Jill Leslie. Culinaria Cooking School Chef Marilena Leavitt offers three delicious, nutrition-packed recipes from her upcoming Greek cooking classes. Simplicity Urgent Care’s Dr. Salma Haque provides guidelines for women on when to seek medical attention for headaches.

But what does it mean to be a powerful woman? Like the heroine in the opera Carmen, illustrated above by Michael Gibbs, women make tough choices every day. This issue is dedicated to helping readers dive deeper into considering how to best ways to grow their companies, care for their families, and make time for themselves. Those who do it with grace and courage are profiled in the book I’m writing, Truly Amazing Women Who Are Changing the World. I invite you to click on the website for the book, www.trulyamazingwomen.com, to learn more, then send me an email to tell me about you and your work for possible inclusion: hope@inkandescentpr.com.

Here’s to seizing your power, and to crafting your personal definition of success. — Hope Katz Gibbs, Be Inkandescent

Lee Woodruff on Being "Perfectly Imperfect"

MARCH 2011 ENTREPRENEUR OF THE MONTH

Author and Advocate Lee Woodruff

By Hope Katz Gibbs

Lee Woodruff is no stranger to the limelight. The wife of well-known ABC News correspondent Bob Woodruff — the reporter who in 2006 suffered a traumatic brain injury while covering the War in Iraq — is a contributor to “Good Morning America,” a former senior vice president of the PR firm Porter Novelli, a contributor to Health, Redbook, Country Living and Prevention magazines, and a spokesperson for “Family Fun” on TV and radio, where she discusses parenting and family life.

When Bob began recovering from his injury, they penned “In An Instant: A Family’s Journey of Love and Healing,” an eloquent, candid description of what happened in Iraq, and the struggles the couple and their children faced as Bob recovered.

In 2009, the mother of four published her second book, “Perfectly Imperfect: A Life in Progress,” where she shares deeply personal and uproariously funny stories highlighting topics such as family, marriage, friends, and how life never seems to go as planned.

While most women reserve such discussions for girls-night-out with their gal pals, Woodruff bravely shares it in print. Her friends, in turn, took a turn to review the book. Actress Jamie Lee Curtis called Lee, “a modern-day truth teller.” Journalist Liz Smith likened Lee’s writing to “Nora Ephron + Erma Bombeck.”

Be Inkandescent Magazine recently sat down with Lee Woodruff to talk about her life today — as a working woman juggling book tours and speaking engagements, a family of teenagers, and a husband who is still healing. Would she change anything, and what advice does she have for women facing challenges?

Be Inkandescent: The definition of what it means to be powerful has changed over the years. Whereas women once had the goal of being “Superwoman,” I think most of us now simply strive to have a super day. Talk about what it means to you to be a powerful woman in today’s workforce.

Lee Woodruff: I think women wear so many different hats today that we never quite feel powerful in all areas—at least, not at the same time. When we are doing great at work, we know we are dropping the ball at home, and visa versa. The challenge for me is one of acceptance.

Like so many women, I’m trying to have a successful career as a writer and public speaker, be a great mom and wife, be actively involved with the Bob Woodruff Family Foundation’s Remind.org, be a good friend, and find my own sense of joy. It’s a lot. And if I am doing so many things, how do I do them all well? The truth is that I don’t do them all well all of the time, and I need to make peace with that.

Be Inkandescent: So instead of always feeling that we are falling short, we should forgive ourselves that we can’t be good at everything at all times. I honestly think that if more of us did that, we’d be happier—and so would our families, employees, and the world at large.

Lee Woodruff: I agree. To me, being powerful is having a sense of inner peace. When I’m speaking at engagements around the country, this topic comes up and sometimes I say something that is not always what women want to hear. It is that I don’t think you can have two people with two big fabulous careers, ones that take time and travel, if you want to be involved in raising your kids day to day. Let’s be honest—if you and your spouse both travel to Singapore every month to close deals, someone needs to be home to make sure the homework is done, grades are kept up, and they have a parent in the audience at the school play, football game, or orchestra concert. But that’s just my opinion.

Be Inkandescent: So you don’t think women can “have it all?” That will likely come as a relief to a lot of women juggling careers and families.

Lee Woodruff: I guess it comes down to how you define having it all. I always wanted to be a mom, so I was happy to take the back seat to Bob’s career. I have always had my own work, of course. And in the early years when he was getting started, I brought home the bacon. But the beauty of being a writer is that I can do it anytime, from anywhere.

Truth be told, I love picking up the kids at 3, and being there for the special moments when I can. And you never know when they’ll come to you—when your teenager will finally open up, or your 10-year-old will get the highest grade in the class on a test, or score a goal on the soccer field. Those moments are the stuff of life. If Bob and I had both had successful TV careers where we were dispatched at a moment’s notice to cover breaking events all around the world, one or both of us would have missed a lot of precious milestones. To me, that’s too big of a price to pay for a successful career.

But, again, that’s me. I think it’s up to every woman to make those choices for themselves, and then be happy with their decisions. But you have to recognize that you’ll have moments when you feel guilty, or you feel that you have fallen short. That’s just the reality of this juggling act.

Be Inkandescent: Your wonderful honesty comes through in your latest book, “Perfectly Imperfect,” which was just released in paperback. The same is true of “In An Instant,” the book you wrote with Bob when he was recovering from the accident.

But in this new book you seem so willing to be vulnerable—describing everything from your aging body, and coping with the depression and anxiety that comes with grief, to dealing with infertility, teenagers, and your deep love for your Lanz of Salzburg pajamas. Are you ever concerned about speaking so candidly?

Lee Woodruff: I figured why write a book if I was going to give them pablum. I believe that when you show your vulnerability, you also show your strength.

No one wants to see a perfect example of what it means to have it all together. Not only is there is no such thing—it puts a wall up between you and the audience. I’d rather be honest, because it’s a privilege to write and speak about things that we all are experiencing. It makes me feel better to know that we are all just like one another, and I think that’s true for most people.

Click here to read Lee’s Tips for Entrepreneurs.

Lee Woodruff Asks: What If Your Life Changed In An Instant?

Lee Woodruff Offers Insights on How to Cope With the Ups and Downs of Life

Be Inkandescent: Let’s talk about “In An Instant,” the book you and Bob wrote after his accident. In it, you artfully chronicle what it was like to suffer through the news that he was injured, and the possibility that he might not survive. Can you offer some words of wisdom for others who are struggling with similar dramatic changes?

Lee Woodruff: I’d suggest that if they like to write, they put down into words everything that is happening, how they feel, all their hopes and dreams, fears and concerns. It’s cathartic.

You are in shock when something like this happens. Several weeks before the accident on January 28, 2006, Bob was named as co-anchor of ABC’s “World News Tonight.” He was reporting on the War in Iraq when a roadside bomb gravely injured him and his cameraman. Immediately, he was operated on—and that scared me.

I wanted him to be flown home. Thankfully, no one listened to me, because that surgery saved his life.

After his condition stabilized, he was then flown to Germany, and I flew over to meet him there, and thankfully I had an amazing support system to help with the kids at home. He spent 36 days in a coma. And there I was, sitting alone in the Intensive Care Unit in a foreign country, waiting. So, for me, writing the book was my way of processing what was going on.

The doctors in the ICU encouraged me to talk to him, and while I was next to his bed I told him stories of our life. I knew that if he ever woke up that he would want to know everything that happened, so when I wasn’t sitting by his bedside, I wrote it all down on my laptop. The words flowed out of me. I never thought that what I was writing would be a book. I was writing for Bob, for myself, and for our kids. It was the only control that I had in my life at that moment.

Be Inkandescent: Why did you decide to turn it into a book?

Lee Woodruff: Bob’s neurosurgeon looked at what I was working on and said that he thought it would help others. It turns out that thousands of men and women cycle through hospitals with these types of war injuries—and yet there isn’t enough information getting out about the realities of it. So I went to work putting my grief, hope, and fears into words.

Be Inkandescent: Then, on February 27, 2006, Bob woke up. That must have been an amazing day.

Lee Woodruff: You can only imagine. But it was also scary, because we didn’t know the real extent of his injuries, or what the future would hold. So the fear of that is in the book, too. From my 900 pages of notes, we wove together Bob’s thoughts and mine, and 13 months after the accident, Random House published it.

Be Inkandescent: When did you decide to write the follow-up, “Perfectly Imperfect?”

Lee Woodruff: Well, in those hundreds of pages of notes, there was also a lot of my thoughts about life. Then after “In An Instant,” made the New York Times Bestseller List for 2007, my editors at Random House asked me what I wanted to do next. That’s when I told them about the other stuff I had written, and “Perfectly Imperfect” was born.

Be Inkandescent: This book has also been a huge hit, and taken you on a new journey—quite literally, with speaking engagements around the country—and even more visibility for the work you are doing with the nonprofit organization that you and Bob set up, Remind.org.

Lee Woodruff: Yes, lots of good things have come from this horrible thing. But that’s what people do. To make it palatable, you make something good out of something horrible.

Be Inkandescent: Do you think everything happens for a reason?

Lee Woodruff: I think the trick is to believe in something bigger than you. For me, faith is the key to getting through the bad stuff. I turn myself over to it regularly, and on my most sorrowful days, when I know that things are out of my control, it gives me the strength to believe that the world is still a good place, and good things do happen. A wise woman once said to me, “You can be bitter, or you can make it better.” So I have tried to make lemonade from this pile of lemons.

Be Inkandescent: If you could turn back time, would you?

Lee Woodruff: In an instant. I loved our life. Bob was thrilled to have been named the co-anchor with Elizabeth Vargas of ABC News’ flagship broadcast “World News Tonight,” in December 2005. He had worked his whole career for that, and it was so exciting to watch him succeed. We had a really lovely flow to things at home, and I was happy in my work.

But things happen as they will, and when they do I advise others who are in the thick of it to be good to themselves, and be in the moment. Through the scariest days, I wouldn’t let myself think about what would happen six months or a year down the road. That was terrifying to me. I figured that if I could get through the hour, I was doing well. Then I knew I could get through the next hour. And in the worst moments, I told myself that this was as bad as it was going to get. It was true. The bottom line is that you don’t know how strong you are until you are tested.

Be Inkandescent: In “In An Instant,” you share that this wasn’t the first time you have been tested. You talk about using a surrogate to help complete your family with your twin girls. Other women facing infertility issues can surely relate to the courage it took to take this path. Can you offer them any advice?

Lee Woodruff: So many women go through the painful experience of not being able to have kids—and suffer in silence. By talking about it in the book, I hope to shine a light on the subject. It’s another reason that it’s important to live in the present. Time and again it is clear that we have no control over what happens to us—just to how we respond to what happens. So if there’s no apparent rhyme or reason to anything, I make a decision every day to make the best of it.

Be Inkandescent: Like many powerful women, you are a proponent of giving back. You co-founded and now sit on the board of trustees for the Bob Woodruff Family Foundation’s Remind.org, a nonprofit that provides critical resources and support to our nation’s injured service members, veterans, and their families, especially those affected by the signature hidden injuries of war, traumatic brain injury and combat stress. Can you tell us why it is important to give back, and how more women can fit nonprofit work into our busy schedules?

Lee Woodruff: Here’s what I think about volunteering and giving back. It’s important, and it feels great to help someone else. But as women, we are giving all the time. The key to giving, without completely depleting yourself, is to wisely choose your moment, and your venue.

Previously, I didn’t do a lot of donating of my time because I didn’t have a lot of time to spare. When this accident happened, it was my moment. The cause is important, and starting the foundation is the right thing to do for so many injured men and women. So I figured out how to make time.

But just like everything in a woman’s life, we all need to figure out what we want to do, and balance it with what we can do. No guilt. No drama. Just be clear with yourself about your priorities, and your limitations, and you will live in your power.

Spend the afternoon. You can’t take it with you.”

– Annie Dillard

You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it.”

– Goldie Hawn

Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.”

– Gandi

You don’t love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.”

– L.J. Smith

The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. The greatest failure is to not try.”

– Debbi Fields, Mrs. Fields Cookies

There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”

– JFK

It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.”

– Alfred Adler

Destiny is a name often given in retrospect to choices that had dramatic consequences.”

– J.K. Rowling

The only way to compel men to speak good of us is to do it.”

– Voltaire

My job is my hobby. I come to work to play.”

– Uli Becker, president, Reebok International

Your own words are the bricks and mortar
of the dreams you want to realize.
 The words you choose and their use establish the life you experience.”

– Sonia Croquette

By your stumbling the world is perfected.”

– Sri Aurobindo

Persist and persevere, and you will find most things that are attainable, possible.”

– Lord Chesterfield

You must have chaos within you, to create a dancing star.”

– Frederic Nietzsche

A person who learns to juggle six balls will be more skilled than the person who never tries to juggle more than three.”

– Marilyn vos Savant

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

– Charles Darwin

There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”

– JFK

Entrepreneurs are willing to roll the dice with their money or reputation on the line in support of an idea or enterprise.”

– Victor Kiam

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

– T.S. Eliot

4oz tequila + 1oz TripleSec + 2oz lime juice + 1oz simple syrup (sugar=water), 1 cup crushed ice. Shake + dance around the kitchen.

– Avenida Margarita

Don’t follow, lead. Don’t copy, create. Don’t start, finish. Don’t sit still, move. Don’t fit in, stand out. Don’t sit quietly, speak up. (Not all the time, sure, but more often.)”

– Seth Godin

A man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.”

– Chinese Proverb

We are not meant to resolve all contradictions, but to live with them and rise above them.”

– William Blake

Letting go of expectations is a ticket to peace. It allows us to ride over every crisis—small or large—like a beach ball on water.”

– Martha Beck

Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

– Christopher Robin to Pooh

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.”

– Edgar W. Howe

We are perfectionists. We are hungry to work all the time. We are entertained by every aspect of business and we never want to stop working.”

– Suzy Welch

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”

– Lao Tzu

No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth.”

– Martha Beck, from "Leaving the Saints"

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

– John Quincy Adams

‎No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.”

– Charles Dickens

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

– Friedrich Nietzsche

I don’t do very well without fear. There needs to be a part of me saying, ‘That’s going to fail,’ so I can prove myself wrong.”

– Harry Potter's Daniel Radcliffe

Destiny is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”

– William Jennings Bryan

Remove those ‘I want you to like me’ stickers from your forehead
and, instead, place them where they truly will do the most good—on your mirror.”

– Susan Jeffers

A diamond is a lump of coal that stuck with it.”

– Norwegian proverb

Things don’t change. You change your way of looking, that’s all.”

– Carlos Castaneda

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

– Eckhart Tolle

You’ve got to be willing to crash and burn. If you’re afraid of failing, you won’t get very far.”

– Steve Jobs

Everyone is a mirror image of yourself—your own thinking coming back at you.”

– Byron Katie

Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost.”

– Robert H. Schuller

The quality of your life is directly related to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with.”

– Tony Robbins

There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

– Leonard Cohen

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”

– William Butler Yeats

Never never never never give up.”

– Winston Churchill

There is little success where there is little laughter.”

– Andrew Carnegie

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.”

– Leo Jozef Suenens

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

– Anais Nin

I may not be able to change what takes place, but I can always choose to change my thinking.”

– Michelle Sedas

There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.”

– Christopher Morley

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